I am Woman, Hear Me Roar

The reason I want to make a difference in women’s world

Women’s rights changes are not hundreds of years ago (1920) and some of our grandparents were alive when women could not vote. Sexual and domestic violence laws were not changed “hundreds of years ago”- more importantly, let’s talk about how these laws should have never had to be changed. Marital rape, was LEGAL until 1979, when talk finally begun. Not to mention black women, who did not fully gain rights until after white women. Not to mention that black women, STILL are not seen as equal, or as powerful as white women in society.

Women around you are being raped, assaulted, and affected every day (every 98 seconds statistically) and people do not want to speak on it because they fear the backlash of the education system, men around them, men in their family, and people not supporting them. Women had to create shelters in order to form resistance. They had to leave their homes and jobs in order to do something that should have already been done. Safe places and shelters were not formed until 1975, meaning for hundreds of years battered women had no place to stay, the unfortunate part is that women shelters needed to be formed in the first place.

I know this topic especially in the last year has been touchy because even our president has rape accusations, as well as many famous people and artists. What is interesting to me, is so many people want to talk about how they are anti-rape and they want to support the victims and do “their part” in the world, but as soon as someone comes forward with a story where they blatantly say they were raped and give the full story, people want to justify it and talk about how it is A. for attention B. for money C. evil intentions.

 

Consider this though, consider how rape is scary. It is traumatic, it is intimidating (to even talk about), it is damaging. Now I am not saying that nobody ever lies about it, because yes people sometimes have poor intentions. But with the poor backlash women receive every time they come forward with their cases, why would they make up such a traumatic event. Do you want to support the women around you? You want to raise awareness? You want to do your part? Listen then. Listen to victims speak and be naive for once in your life. Truly trust and believe them and make sure they know that. Give reassurance and show love.

We are living in a culture that supports rape and violence against women blindly. University of North Dakota did a study sharing one in three college men admit they would rape a women if they knew nobody would ever find out and their would be no consequences. One in three. I am attending a university around thousands of men and every time I go to a party the back of my head is just thinking- “are the girls in here going to be safe tonight?” “Is that guy just going to keep forcing that girl to take polls of that vodka?” “Is she stable to walk home? Is he walking her home alone?”

There is a university in Canada that chants “Y is for your sister. O is for oh-so-tight. U is for underage. N is for no consent. G is for grab that ass.” Did you laugh? Yes? That is rape culture. Rape culture is supporting violence and ownership against women and not even knowing. It is thinking you have the right to grab a women. Perhaps this is prevalent beings our president thinks it is appropriate to “grab her by the pussy”. Perhaps we think women are objects because our president objectifies us.

More than 1 out of 6 women are sexually assaulted in their lifetime compared to 1 out of 71 men. I am not saying sexual assault against men is ok or justifiable at all, because it is real and important. I am saying our culture condones violence against women. You know why people make jokes about rape and talk about it all the time? It is because it is happening, All. The. Time. 1 in 4 women will experience violence with their partner, but hardly report it, because women will justify it being with their loved one. Our culture tells women they deserve it, that it is normal, that we do not have rights to our own bodies. Our culture supports rape by continuing to fund male athletes and keep them on teams after they have raped somebody, our culture defends music artists, athletes, actors, talk-show hosts, anybody with power, EVEN when news of them raping or assaulting somebody has been released. Even when news has been released of them raping MULTIPLE people. How are you supporting somebody who has so many cases of women coming forward?

“My university is good because there is no rape accusations or cases”

Only 20% of female student victims, age 18-24, report to law enforcement.(rainn.org)

The reason women do not report rape, is because they fear being called a liar. They fear getting in trouble. They fear not having support.

I am going to post some statistics from a website I really recommend you visit. Perhaps this will provide you some perspective if you are not where I am at.

https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence

• Ages 12-34 are the highest risk years for rape and sexual assault.
• Those age 65 and older are 92% less likely than 12-24 year olds to be a victim of rape or sexual assault, and 83% less likely than 25-49 year olds.

Millions of women in the United States have experienced rape.

• As of 1998, an estimated 17.7 million American women had been victims of attempted or completed rape.

Young women are especially at risk.

• 82% of all juvenile victims are female. 90% of adult rape victims are female.6Females ages 16-19 are 4 times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault.
• Women ages 18-24 who are college students are 3 times more likely than women in general to experience sexual violence. Females of the same age who are not enrolled in college are 4 times more likely.
• 21% of TGQN (transgender, genderqueer, nonconforming) college students have been sexually assaulted, compared to 18% of non-TGQN females, and 4% of non-TGQN males.
• 94% of women who are raped experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) during the two weeks following the rape.
• 30% of women report symptoms of PTSD 9 months after the rape.
• 33% of women who are raped contemplate suicide.
• 13% of women who are raped attempt suicide.
• Approximately 70% of rape or sexual assault victims experience moderate to severe distress, a larger percentage than for any other violent crime.
• On average, American Indians ages 12 and older experience 5,900 sexual assaults per year.
• American Indians are twice as likely to experience a rape/sexual assault compared to all races.

Do you know what the standard for sexual assault prevention is? It is to dress more modest. To not go out alone. To carry pepper spray. Prevention is teaching women how to prevent rape rather than telling men not to rape. THAT is rape culture.

But what about all the people who make up their assault cases? What about the girls just looking for attention?

http://ndaa.org/pdf/the_voice_vol_3_no_1_2009.pdf

This article will address all your questions about false sexual assault cases. And it states “the percentage of false reports begin to converge around 2-8%.”

So why do we pay so much attention to the 2-8%? Why do we want to defend every male and say that these women are lying?

Maybe it is just me, but I would rather be naive and believe a false report than to constantly defend rape accusations and claim they are false when the percentage of them actually being false is SO small.

This brings me to something else. A concept. Why can women not do what men can? Why are women constantly shamed for being sexual beings? Why can women not desire sex? Can this have to do with rape culture? Does this play a role? Why is a woman sleeping around resulted in being called a slut but a man sleeping around is resulted in a high five? Why are we surrounded by double standards? Provide equal standards for the women and men around you and see how differently you view your friends, your family, your peers. We are not defined by our genitalia. I can do what you can do. Women can be breadwinners. Women can be assertive. Women can be good at sports. Women can choose to not have children.

I want to make something clear, I am not attacking anyone. I am not attacking men. I do not hate men. I am actually surrounded by a ton of loving and supporting men. I am simply raising awareness, answering some questions, bringing attention to a topic extremely important to me. If even 5 people read this and it brings perspective to one person, it is worth it to me. It is worth it to me to do what I can to support the men and women around me who are sexually assaulted. We need to look out for those around us and do anything and everything we can to support them.

https://www.womenshelters.org

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673

National Suicide prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

Side note: I am currently studying women and gender studies and considering majoring in it. I am extremely passionate about this class and have been passionate about women’s rights/movements for a while now. A lot of people want to ask me “what are you doing with it though?” or “why are you studying women’s studies when you are already a women”. First off, no education is pointless, no matter if I get a career in the field or not. I am passionate about it and to me that is what is important. I do not need permission from anybody to do what I am already doing. I am not trying to please anybody. I am getting an education for myself. I am writing because I want to write. My biggest flaw used to be doing things only to please people around me, my family, my friends, my teachers. I am working on doing things for me. Following my heart. Working on accepting myself for who I am, what I desire, what I offer.

I am a woman. I am beautiful. I am strong. I am worthy. I offer so much. I will not be defined by anything, by anyone, for anyone. I am constantly growing.

 

A FEW women who inspire me:

My best friend in the whole world. Audrey. She is understanding. She is powerful. She is loving. She has given me unconditional support my whole life. She accepts everybody.

A few of my close friends. Audrey, Lauryn, Jadyn, Taylor. They are all so beautiful, so bright, so intelligent. They are all working towards careers, and balancing school. They are amazing.

Uamili. My room mate. A beautiful soul. Studying to be a doctor to help the people on her island. Constant support to me. She loves her family more than anyone I have ever met. Would go to any measure to protect her people.

My sister Olivia. Cares endlessly about me, and the people around her. Recently received her bachelors degree. She is strong. She is working full time. She is doing so much. She is lovely.

Allie Soffe. She never fails to make me smile. She is worthy. She is uplifting and empowering. Working with kids and making them smile everyday.

Allison Frank (On the left). An independent woman. In school to become a cop. Breaking gender roles. A powerful woman. Strong through so many trials this past year. Can over come anything.

Destiny. A strong minded woman. She defends me at all costs. She would do ANYTHING for her family. She is strong. She is passionate. She breaks gender roles everyday. She is accepting towards everyone.

My mom. A true goddess. Worked two jobs raising my sister and I. Owner of her house. Fighting cancer. Consistently smiling. Made it to every single volleyball game from 5th grade to 12th grade, while working full time. Can accomplish ANYTHING on her own. She is a super woman.